Am I going to Die Today?

It is in human nature to get a little bit paranoid even if you never intend on getting edgy. We all have our own psychic fears hidden inside that can be triggered at any time for trivial reasons or wondering thoughts. How do you come to know that nothing bad is going to happen or the opposite, something bad is about to happen. Premonition is what we generally see in movies. Can our sixth sense really tingle like a spider and tell us about the impending danger?

Is premonition just the creation of the mind based on what others say or what we see happening around us? It is not by chance I choose to write this and make it the theme this week. To tell the truth, I have been a bit paranoid since the past two days. It’s one thing to be cautious and another to be paranoid. And this is for the first time I felt paranoid because of whats happened around me and what others have been saying.

A few days back, a couple well known to my family died in a car accident. The tire of their car had burst and it rolled on to collide with a truck killing them on the spot. You might say, this is hardly a thing to get paranoid about as hundreds are killed everyday on the roads. Yes, but then anything, big or small can trigger a paranoia in you. To compound the matter further, I came to know that a day before the happening, the gentleman in the accident had said that the car he was going to travel in can never meet with an accident as it was a very expensive one.

As I was going to take a road trip by car to my in-laws place for bringing back my kids and wife in the coming couple of days, my parents too had been cautioning me to drive slowly pointing to the accident. When I spoke to my wife, she was reluctant to come back with me and wanted to stay on a couple of days more asking me to postpone my trip. There were other smaller instances that seemed to point in the same negative direction, though it was just casual talk.

During the time you are alone, once you catch the fancy of premonition, it attracts your mind to think more about such things. The more you try to think away, the deeper it takes you in. With all sorts of thoughts about me dying in an accident on the road, I couldn’t help being sucked into this deep hole. The movies that highlighted premonition flashed in front of me. It was just getting worse.

All this made me build up this premonition of me dying today. I even considered about not taking the road trip or postponing it. But then I knew, if not today, tomorrow I would have to go and the more I delayed the more miserable I would be. My productivity had dropped to almost nil since the last two days as my mind was occupied by this.

After a lot of deliberation with myself, I decided to take this bull by its horns. I made up my mind that I will take this trip and find out whether I am going to die today or not. Believe me, I want to live, for I have many promises to keep and many goals to achieve. But then I want to live with courage and not in fear. I want to live free and not caged.

It’s around a 400 miles round trip and I have been on this road many times. If I die today, it will mean that there is such a feeling called premonition and we need to pay heed to it whenever we get it or it is just my turn to die. If I live to write another article here by tomorrow, it will again mean two things, either ‘am not good at predicting my death or this premonition thing is just a fictitious feeling build by our paranoid thoughts and fear.

Heads or Tails, I hope to see you here tomorrow and die another day.